


A World So Full of Love

by bluecropman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 03:11:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14393052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluecropman/pseuds/bluecropman
Summary: Tony's brokenhearted after discovering that Steve loves Bucky just as he had back then. He thinks on what happened and why he cannot keep a love, especially one like he had with Steve.





	A World So Full of Love

**Author's Note:**

> Another fic based on an old country song! This one's based of of A World So Full of Love by Faron Young
> 
> Enjoy!!

_I know how it feels to be alive with no desire to live,_  
_I know how it feels to never take, and always have to give,_

Twilight stretches it’s infinite hands toward eternal damnation as small flickers of light begin to spot his worst nightmare. Breathing becomes hazardous, and what’s left of his heart seems to become stretched into oblivion. When he’s finally pulled from his own personal hell its to a beeping much akin to the warning signals inside his iron casket.

Jolting upright Tony shivers as he gulps down lungfuls of air. Before, when arms would encircle him in their comforting warmth, he could go weeks without a nightmare. Now they were getting worse, and much more frequent, but Steve hadn’t been there to chase them away any longer. He was busy chasing away someone else’s.  
Catching his breath, Tony scoots toward the edge of the bed. The chilled press of the floor on the tender skin of his foot helps to ground him, if only but a little. Waking up alone like this every night kills Tony’s heart even more so than the shrapnel inching slowly towards it.

After calming his rapid fire heart, Tony decides to bury himself in his work. Better than dreaming of your death.

_And the day I found out was on the day you let me down,_  
_In this world so full of love, with not enough to go around,_

When Tony had found out… he was destroyed. In only a matter of minutes his heart had leapt from his chest, only to be crushed by the cruel boot of reality. Of course, it wasn’t Steve's fault. Bucky had been his first love, and it only serves that given the opportunity he should be Steve's last as well. I mean, Tony’s had his fair share of love’s in his life, but with Steve, it was such a soul consuming, genuine love that Tony could actually see himself spending his life with him. But doesn’t fate always have a cruel joke to play on him?

_I was once so proud to have your love that I could burst with pride,_  
_But you took that away and know I’m breaking up inside,_

Tony remembers when they’d first gotten together. He’d never felt such pure, unadulterated admiration for life in those first few months. Most clearly he remembers that he was able to smother Steve with affection in front of people, and you better believe he took his opportunity. Every time he was in the same vicinity as Steve his heart lit up and he immediately gravitated towards him, always placing a kiss on his cheek or a hand on his back. He’d been so blinded by his own love of Steve that he didn’t realize that the looks he gave Steve were the same looks Steve was directing at his long lost best friend. 

_It’s enough to make me wish that I could hide and not be found,_  
_In this world so full of love, with not enough to go around,_

As soon as his obliviousness gave way to truth, Tony wished that he could just crawl in the corner of his workshop and never leave again. How could something so pure as loving a man like Steve break way into such pain?

_For days and nights I’ve wondered, and the reason I can’t find,_  
_There’s so much love around me, and no love to call mine_

But Tony’s thought about it, of course he has. In the nights were his body cannot function any longer but his mind won’t give up, all he can do is reflect.

He's made the conclusion that maybe he’s not meant to be loved. It only makes sense, his father neglected him, his second father ripped out his heart, quite literally, and anyone after that has left him in some manner. The only constants that Tony can think of that haven't hurt or left him would be Rhodey and Happy, but he feels they only tolerate him at times and he needs more. Tony needs heart consuming love to distract him from his responsibilities, and to be there for when his mistakes haunt him.

_It’s enough to make me wish that I could hide and not be found,_  
_In this world so full of love, with not enough to go around_

As his body gives in and his head lightly smacks against the desk his brain continues whiring. His last conscious thought as he feels two arms encircle him is of him and Steve curled upon their bed with happy smiles on their faces, and the same arms wrapped tightly around him.


End file.
